Tuesday morning around 8. The mystical mist turned the bull rushes into mere silhouettes as the crickets clicked and the birds chirped. Once the final fly was caught, the frogs calmly sat down on their lily pads and peacefully drifted off to sleep. Meanwhile a tired tortoise, looking for a place to sleep, climbed onto a battered log and closed his eyes.
Pop! The tortoise opened his eyes and saw a shocking sight.
Without warning the lily pads covering the pond rose into the air topped with terrified frogs. Eventually gaining control the frogs excitedly flew about with their new gained ability, terrifying the tortoise into it’s shell as the fish applauded.
Feeling it was time to explore the world they flew high up, far away from the pond as their slimy bodies glimmered in the moonlight.
Soaring through the starry sky skies they saw a murder of roosting crows on the telegraph wires. “Let’s get ’em.” whispered one of the frogs to the others. So, silently they sneaked up behind the crows and on the count of three all charged at once. The crows scattered like a bag of marbles cawing like crazy. “Yahoo!” yelled one of the frogs as it chased three of the crows into a large oak tree. After what felt like hours of fun the frogs decided to leave the feathered frenzy to explore the nearby village.
Swarming into the village like green locust(s) they noticed a man who was just pouring a glass of milk following a long days work, and decided to have some fun with him. Bone aching and exhausted he was just about to sink his teeth into a scrummy honey sandwich when he heard three taps on the window. Reluctantly the man delayed eating his sandwich, looked over his shoulder and saw frogs flying past his house. As he looked back at his sandwich and thought to himself “just flying frogs”, but then realised “flying frogs?”. In shock he looked back over his shoulder and, seeing nothing, shrugged and finally took a bite out of his mouthwatering meal. Laughing at their work the frogs continued on, curious about what adventures lay behind the fence.
Hurtling over the fence, as if they were in a horse race, they galloped straight into the ghost-like washing. As their greasy green fingers smothered the sheets in slime many of the sheets also smothered them. One of the frogs got off his lily pad, swung like a gymnast on the washing line, did a triple somersault in mid air and landed with a thud right on top of his friend. Two others, narrowly dodging some trousers, bashed straight into each other, landed in two socks and hopped along the floor as if there was an invisible man in them. An extremely mischievous frog flew straight through some boxer shorts, leapt off his lily pad, leapt over a bra and landed back on his lily pad, poised but not paying attention crashed into a tablecloth which billowed out behind him like a cape. Enviously the other frogs also flew into table cloths and then boldly journeyed into the house next door.
Down the chimney, in the window, through the door, even scooting through the cat flap, it didn’t matter how, the frogs got in. As they zoomed past a curiously cautious cat, they screeched to a halt so as not to knock over a statue, as an old lady was sleeping in that room. One of the creative, artistic frogs studied some paintings and said to himself “Yes, yes. I should really try this out back at the pond.”
Several other frogs were looking at the lady’s blank television wondering what it does when one of them stumbled over the remote control and delicately slid his slimy tongue out and pressed the red button. The the words “this program can not be viewed until six a.m. tomorrow” popped up making the frogs all “oooh” at once. And then the frog with the remote control pressed randomly and rapidly every button he could find. Then the TV flickered from one program to the next until it landed on a fashion show and the announcer said “Next up on our show – Angelina.” All of the frog’s tongues suddenly stuck out in one big gasp.
They almost forgot that the old lady was there until she snorted causing the frog with the remote control to fiddle with it and drop it on the floor. The TV changed again, this time to a tennis tournament. “Good serve there!” said the announcer. As they watched the ball the frogs turned into living metronomes. “Out!” yelled the announcer. All of the frogs on the left side whistled and cheered, all of the frogs on the right side slumped. The old lady behind them let out another snore blowing a frog off his lily pad and on top of the remote. The channel changed yet again, this time to an extremely loud band. As the rock band played the cat screeched. The old lady let out the loudest snore ever. Panicking, the frogs blasted out of the house at lightening speed as one by one all the lights in the nearby houses turned on. The fr4ogs hastily decided to see what was happening on the other side of the neighbourhood. so at what seemed like light speed they soared over there.
A little more cautiously one of the frogs calmly flew through a garden but then he heard a loud growl. He braked as hard as possible and then as fast as a bullet he shot in the other direction, inches away from the dog’s gnashing teeth. But then the furious dog’s expression changed immensely. It, just as the frog did, skidded to a halt and then galloped in the opposite direction as the frog and his friends swarmed and mocked him. Now the bold frog flew out of the garden and they all thought “I love this, nothing will stand in our way, not even that clock tower.”
As they soared through the skies looking for more fun, like an eagle looking for prey, the clock struck five a.m. One of the frogs realised he was still flying but without his lily pad and he fell from the sky taking several frogs with him. Some others tried to dodge the oak tree, they had led the crows into earlier but only the lily pads got out of the way. Crash! They bashed straight into the tree, scaring the crows out of it. Another group of frogs attempted a loop the loop but they all fell to the ground with their lily pads landing on top of them. The one that was leading the way looked around in shock as all around him they all seemed to be shot down as if in a “Star Wars” movie until he was the last one airborne. Meanwhile the tired tortoise from earlier, not wanting any issues with frogs, slowly made his way to another pond to rest. He thought to himself “Ahhh. No more frogs.” Right at that moment a lily pad fell on top of his shell. He looked at it and then the biggest of the frogs, the leader, landed on top of it frightening the tortoise back into his shell. The frog leader leapt off of the shell and, in anger, kicked the tortoise into the pond and then led the way as all the frogs played leapfrog back to the pond. The frogs lept back onto their lily pads, rested their heads on their arms as the leader said “Another boring day.” Then another frog still excited about the adventure said “I wonder what the humans are thinking right now?”
The police and detectives were picking up lily pads left and right and thought to themselves “What in the world?” The news reporters were interviewing several people including the man with the sandwich, a lady wearing clothes covered in green slime, an old lady and her cat who were still looking sleepy and a young girl with her dog all of which said the same thing – “Flying Frogs”. Then the detective said “Slime and lily pads everywhere I know, But frogs can’t fly!”
“But but I saw them out of my window!” said the man who had been eating the sandwich.
“What else could have caused this to my clothes?” said the lady with the washing.
“Oh well it might have just been a dream. But what else turned my TV on?” said the tired old lady.
“My dog’s never behaved this crazy, since it went for a walk by the pond it hates frogs and toads.” said the girl with the dog.
A huge argument broke out between the villagers and the policemen. “Seriously, I will believe this when pigs fly!” said the detective over all the noise.
Next Tuesday frogs were getting quite excited about it being the day frogs were flying. But alas the lily pads did not rise into the air, the tortoise was able to get a good night’s sleep and no fish applauded. At the farm however it was a different story. The cows, the goats, chickens and everything else on the farm had fallen fast asleep. The detective had just found a lost lamb and was returning himself home. He then felt a splat on his head and he looked up to see an extremely muddy pig and his friends laughing at him. He then thought “I wish I didn’t use that catchphrase.” and continued home.
Copyright © Arthur Povey 2010